the rain suited e mood of my day - melancholy

it's always when it's rainin when i feel like sharin it wif some1..anyone bah??juz to be there, by my side..words iz not neccessary, juz e presence iz enough. watchin out tgt thru e window, watchin e rain splatterin on e window pane, watchin e passerbys on e road rushin 2 get out from e rain. iz rain e teardrops of angels??bcoz they grief for us, for e harms we've done 2 earth??or for our impendin death?? think..i'm thinkin 2 deep into stuff..
standin under e pourin rain, lettin e rain battered aginst my weary body. hopin dat it would cleanse, somehow.. hopin dat it would be able to wash all my negative emotion away..

'juz gimme dat sword, think i'll do e job myself'

state of mind - warring

i'm like stun. totally. my last unmarried cousin is getting married.reason??pregnant.
n she's like onli 19, for goodness sake. to mi, it's kinda like an age where more doors in e world is open 2 u, n a time where u could be lookin forward to being an adult. mayb. but 19?? Oo
her husband is like onli 1 yr older than her. is it dat fun being tied down at such a young age?? when u could be out pubing wif frenz or watchin soccer watch, instead u muz be at home 2 help take care of e babe or workin OT to support e whole family.
yaya, love..from wat i read, love burned out. e couple stay tgt coz it felt familiar or somethin like dat..i'm not sure lah..but wat if u found ur soul mate durin ur married yr?? would regret be there??
haiz..though i dun approve of her attitude nor her behaviors, i hope dat she does mature once she's a mom. bless..

thinkin of all tis things, makes mi think of mine own..regret??mayb..sorri??ya..
haiz..juz so used to bein alone bah..so juz accept him wifout realli thinkin..it's more of a long distance thingie bah..i went back home from sku, he juz start work. he went back home, i'm asleep already. no chance to meet up at all bah..none at all. is tis wat i wan??or wat he hopes 4??dat i'm not sure..but i do noe dat he has marriage in mind, somethin i dun think i could give him..even 5 yr nor 10 yrs down e road..
haiz..confuse right nw..juz beri de fan lor..

'could u juz lay a sword thru mine heart??n make sure to add an xtra twist in..'

yayaya..been long since i've post anythin' lalala~

sku started, thinin of gettin a new job, juggling both mine life n work n sku. juz plain sick n tired of everythin bah..dun even have a day 4 myself already - weekdays 4 sku, weekend 4 work. juz goin on n on n on...
plain sick of everythin'..

sku'z work kinda like gettin tougher..even sw. who would have though dat every machines have 2 do, until e requiment iz reached..meanin i have 2 lift an average of abt 15kg of weights per machines, n there are 10 of them. 2 sets each T.T then i have 2 run until i lose an average of abt 90 calories per cardio mahcines, n there are 5 of them. meanin abt 20 mins per machine.
at e end of e day, every1 of e calories iz earned back durin dinner time..same thing..
even maths, movin on2 e territory of differentiation, somethin i think i'm not 2 good at..then there's also ael.
damn, life'z gettin tougher. even 4 mii.

'fate'z a bitch when she wanna be'