found this on the web - Infinity
it's actually from the Prologue of Nick Gautier's first book.
initially, i though he was just a sidekick-turn-enemy from the series Dark-Hunter, but turns out he has secret that us, the readers, doesn't know about yet.
something i have thinking about, and i felt that this actually answer my answer. sort of..

here it goes -

Freewill.

Some have called it the greatest gift bestowed on humanity. It is our ability to control what happens to us and exactly how it happens. We are the masters of our fate and no one can foist their will on us unless we allow it.

Others say freewill is a crap myth. We have a preordained destiny and no matter what we do or how hard we fight it, life will happen to us exactly as it’s meant to happen. We are only pawns to a higher power that our meager human brains can’t even begin to understand or comprehend.
My best bud, Acheron, once explained it to me like this. Destiny is a freight train rolling along on a set course that only the conductor knows. When we get to the railroad crossing in our car, we can choose to stop and wait for the train to pass us by, or try to pull out in front of it and beat that bad boy across.

That choice is our freewill.

If we choose to rush ahead, the car we’re in might stall on the tracks. We can then choose to try and start the car or wait for the train to plow into us. Or we can get out to run and fight the destiny of the train slamming into us and killing us where we stand. By choosing to run, our foot could get caught in the tracks or we could slip and fall.

We could even say to ourselves, “there’s no way I’m dumb enough to fight the train” and hang back to safely wait. Then the next thing we know, a truck rams us from behind, throwing us straight into the train’s path.

If it is our destiny to be hit by the train, we will be hit by the train. The only thing we can change is how the train turns us into hamburger.

(end)

this is only a small part from the web site. but yes, i think it answers my question. and speaking about the series, it makes me realise that i have not been catching up on it >.< kinda lost touch to it. the author churns out the book too fast and also i felt that the quality is compromised. hopefully, it's not the case for upcoming book. so that i can complete the whole series =)
having gap in the series is like just so wrong. it's as if i'm breaking some kind of law in the universe *shudder*

thinking of cutting my hair short after this job is over. not something like what i had the other time!! *fume* like..just more of a shoulder length. and i don't think bangs suit me, so i have to strike it off my list. maybe those emo thingie fringe? i have no idea what they call it, but it seems kind of cool xP guess i'll have to research on it den =D

does anybody know how to write an appeal letter of 50 meagre words?! that's like the requirement for ntu. bloody hell! one person in some forum said something akin to - like giving chance, but with the 50 words limit, totally no hope.. to which i agree with. unless you're good with words, then it'll be an effortless task.
suddenly feels that uni life seems so far from me T.T wish that i tried a bit harder in the past, then i might not have this problem now. but it's too late for hindsight *shake head*

grad ceremony tml. initially have no thoughts of going, but change my mind. i mean, come on, it's the chance of a lifetime that i'm putting on the robe and taking photos with my friends. after which, all of us would have seperate path to take.
so tml will be quite an eventful day. coz after which we are going somewhere to eat. hopefully cheap =x i have already predicted that it's going to be a fun day tml, no including the waiting time in the hall >.<